I'm a lazy bastard
by Anghel Higure
Summary: Pit x Dark Pit fragment-fanfics that I have no intention of finishing.
1. First

A/N: Sorry to keep you waiti- wait, no.

(insert long tiresome rant here)

tl;dr: I'm a faggot have some birds

**Dimmy Start!**

What seemed to be a shadow crept through the halls, pausing every so often to listen for the telltale footsteps of someone following. As always, the dark figure heard nothing and continued on, stopping at a certain door. He glanced around then rotated the knob slowly, creeping into the room.

"Pittoo?"

At this, the dark angel smiles. "Yeah, who else?" He gives a husky chuckle and walks up to his twin, wrapping his arms around him. Pit returns the gesture without flinching, running a hand down one of his friend's soft, raven-coloured wings.

"Ahh..." Tip shivered, tightening his grip for a moment. "You little tease!" he hissed, burying his face into his lighter twin's shoulder. He drags his tongue across Pit's neck roughly, making him let out a surprised grunt. "Remember? Anything you can do, I can do better..."

"Why don't we see about that?" Pit asked, grinning devilishly. He pressed his lips to Tip's aggressively, reaching a hand up to unclasp his friend's toga.

"How're we gonna do it this time, hmm?" Tip questioned, feeling a blush creep into his cheeks.

"I... I dunno. But I was wondering if we could... um..."

"If we could what?"

Pit shook his head, his cheeks flushing red. "I thought of something that..." He bit his lip, but can't quite explain what he has in mind. "How about I show you? It won't hurt or anything."

"Fine," the dark twin replied, putting a hand on Pit's belt. "Just don't try anything _too_ funny."

Pit snickers, unclasping his friend's toga and letting it slip to the ground.

((Dimmy: Aaaaand that's how far it got. Usually I go through 5-10 drafts before finding an idea I'm slightly interested in.))


	2. Second

Summary: All I wanted was a late-night soak. Of course, HE had to ruin it...

**A/N: First to write smut for a (more) popular (than Cave Story) pairing? CHECK. **

**Enjoy, fellow birdfags!**

"Pittoo?"

The voice makes me freeze. My hands grow sweaty, and I can only hope he doesn't know where I'm headed. I remain still, my thoughts racing. Why am I reacting like this? It can't be fear... Then something registers: he's called me that damned pet-name. Again. But before I do anything, his hand contacts my shoulder, making me jump and whip around, wings spread instinctively. Hah, as if I could fly with these useless feathered appendages...

"Don't call me that. I told you not to call me that," I manage to choke out, jerking away from his touch and continuing on my way, hoping he'll leave me be.

But of course, he never gets the hint.

"'Dark Pit' is pretty dumb, though..." I turn to face him rather abruptly, wondering just what his mind is up to. He mistakes my act as something more aggressive and flinches a bit. "I mean, isn't it cliche?" He asks nervously.

"Yeah, I knew that. Why do you care, anyway?"

"I don't- um, I m-mean I _do_, but... um..."

"Why're you bothering me, bird-brain? Don't you have something better to do?"

My twin answers the latter question with a simple shake of his head. "Actually, I was thinking of going for a late-night soak... How 'bout you?"

I feel heat rush into my cheeks and turn away, eyes wide. When we were one, this happened to him (us) a few times, and a few memories creep into my mind that I don't want to remember. Then I remember how his skin felt as I'd dipped him into the Rewind Spring. So soft, so smooth... Minus the blood and grime, he was perfect. I shake my head, hissing a curse under my breath. I can't let Pit know, but I have to. I just want to get away, but at the same time...

"I was about to do the same thing."

It slips from my mouth, but it's the truth. I don't want to lie to him... Besides, this could be my chance to talk to him without the interference of "Mommy Palutena."

"Really? Um..."

"Then why don't we do it together?"

"But-"

"We're both guys, you know. Nothing to hide."

"Y-yeah, but..." his voice drops to a whisper. "I don't feel comfortable... without clothes."

"Oh, come on. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before." It comes out sounding far too confident. Almost creepy. He takes a step back, eyes wide and cheeks flushed crimson. I'm pretty sure I've scared the little chicken off by now. "See you, then," I say over my shoulder, and continue walking.

I've made it to the door when I hear his footsteps approaching.

"Tip," he says simply, as if he's been enlightened and the word contains knowledge of the universe.

I turn, head cocked lightly. "What?"

"I was kinda... sorta... thinking that 'Tip' sounded better than 'Pittoo' or 'Dark Pit' back in chapter six..."

"Anything but Pittoo," I snap a bit ruder than I mean to just to shut him up, and push the door open. "You gonna join me or not?"

Pit shrugs. "Fine. I can't sleep, anyway."

The door shuts behind us.

The light angel watches me silently, as if waiting for something. I remember his sensitivity to these sorts of things and decide to turn around. Then- it's funny, actually- I realize this is the first time I've stripped. In my newly-seperate body, that is... First off is the belt, then the rest of my toga. I can't help but admire myself, ruffling my raven-coloured feathers as I pull off my undershirt. I steal a glance at Pit and feel my pulse grow faster. He's in nothing but his shorts. Tight-fitting ones, at that. For a moment I can't do much but stare. I can't help but wonder: do _I_ look that attractive?

Attractive. The word startles me. Since when did I think Pit was...?

I shake my head, kicking the pile of clothes into the corner.

Palutena said it herself. I'm screwed up. Of course I would end up falling in love with someone so... My thoughts freeze, and I'm biting my tongue. Love? Where the hell did_ that _come from?

Maybe a soak will help me clear my mind.

With my shorts still on, I step into the water. It- of course- is hot.

((Dimmy: And it stopped there. Gotta admit, I kinda liked this one. Man, I wish I had a computer of my own so I could write these dumb ideas down before they fade away...))


End file.
